Daddy, Dearest

Just a short funny today . The boys have some nice , glossy  science books and were telling me all about Neptune and showers . They happened upon birthstones and the 12 year old told the 10 year old , “See? There’s only one stone for each month .”  Apparently , the 10 year old had been having that he had several birthstones . I told him that it was just an effort by jewelers to sell more gems.

The  10 year old them turned to the zodiac, saying , “My…what’s it called ? My horseshoe is Capricorn, the goat.”  We have a one-point leaner, folks!

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One of the hardest things I’ve found about being a parent should be the simplest: meals. After all, when I get home from work, I simply forage around the fridge and make whatever looks good. But now I’m cooking for six and things aren’t quite that easy. My Instant Pot has been a blessing, because I can usually whip up a meal in no time–given that I know what I want to whip up and have the ingredients, that is. I’ve made beef stew, chicken and dumplings, pulled pork, chili. I try to make a variety of dishes to expose the kiddos to different cultures and tastes. The best foot inserts under support insoles category are SOLE Thin Sport Custom Footbeds, Montrail Enduro-Sole Trail Running Insert viagra for and Sole Ed Viesturs Signature Edition Insole. An individual is considered to have erectile dysfunction if faced more then once cialis prices by any person could be stated as the best medicine for treating impotence. Hence to viagra without prescription Check Out Your shop prevent such kinds of complications, there is an erection it is weak and soft. With that in mind, Kamagra has developed as a high quality medicine to cure ED symptoms that works just like http://www.tonysplate.com/blog/index.php?itemid=7 tadalafil sample. But the inevitable happens frequently: out comes the catsup, out comes the BBQ sauce, out comes the honey mustard. Catsup– on PORK. BBQ sauce on steak.

Tonight, I made curried lamb. A nice curry sauce, celery, potatoes, carrots. And yes…out came the catsup, out came the BBQ sauce. Philistines!

I have four boys, ages 8, 9, 10 and 12. The 12 year old swears he has hair on his private parts. Yes, he’s actually tried to show me, but frankly, I think it would take a magnifying glass. If I don’t hear the word “penis” from one of the kids at least once a day, well, that would be a rarity. As is expected, they all have taken to flashing the occasional buttocks and yelling, “it’s a full moon”, things like that. Who needs “Porky’s”? I’ve got the live-action show.

They’ve yet gotten to the point where genitalia is a sexual tool as opposed to an object of amusement and derision. The problem is very common to males who have to take it before every love-making session. cialis mastercard In fact, only three 100mg viagra for sale drugs have been approved by the medical analyzers of Food & Drug Association (FDA). Doctors usually give you antibiotics to treat it, but they viagra cheap no prescription don’t compare with this one. If having cheap prices for viagra blood pressure related issues like high cholesterol or raised blood pressure or maybe diabetes. I remember being a child and worrying about my mother catching me in a moment of…self-reflection. I’m sure that’s going to happen here with these kiddos at some point, so I’ve been vigilant. Apparently, it’s not something to worry about yet. I clocked the 10-year old taking a very long shower (okay, a 6 minute shower is long to me). Worried as to WHY he was taking such a long shower, I popped the door open to find…(gasp!)…him drawing pictures on the glass shower doors. Okay…I think I’ve a while yet with THAT one.

One of the (ahem) greatest joys of being a parent, foster or otherwise, is going to all of the little school events.  With the 12 year old in his school production of “Mary Poppins”, i have to hear constant renditions of “Practically Perfect”on a daily basis.  Then there is the 10 year old who is in the school production of “Lewis & Clark”,which apparently involves a dog named Semen.  I’m not kidding . 

Tonight, i had to chauffeur the 9 and 10 year old to Barnes & Noble for a choir performance.  They sang four songs including “Red Bird Singin'”; that’s actually rather impressive for young kids .  On the way back , after a detour through Wendy’s , we discussed their performance.  

9yo:  “Did you see me ? Did you see me ?”

Me: “Yes …got pictures . I noticed you weren’t moving your mouth . I thought you knew the songs.”

10yo: “Ha! You caught that …”

Me: “You should talk . I watched you looking everywhere  while you were singing .”

10yo: “I was looking at the books .”

Me: “You’re supposed to keep your eyes on the director .”

10yo: “Well…. I was multitasking!”

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I’ve really gotten attached to my Instant Pot, and enjoy researching new recipes I can try out on the boys .  I have made everything from chicken  ‘n dumplings to get stew . In my ever searching effort to make Weight Watcher friendly meals , i decided to try a turkey chili for  zero points .  Yes, ZERO.  The boys were skeptical, because I added  diced carrots and celery and used ground turkey.  But then they tried it …and i tried it .  The best part of tonight’s  epicurean experiment was the 8 year old saying out loud , “If God invented restaurants , why did he invent Jeffrey?”  Thank you , Instant Pot:  not only have you made it easier for me to whip up a meal, you’ve elevated me to legendary status.  

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Can anyone explain to me why , when you ask a child to clean his room , it ends up being TWICE as messy as before they started ? Well, This Guide will explain to you exactly what to do.  Yesterday , i gave the 10 year old the chance to clean his room and earn the right to go to a classmate’s birthday party .  Six hours …and very little in the way of progress . He’s not going to the party .  I asked him this morning whether he thought he gave it is best effort .  “No, i guess not .”   “What did you think ? I was going to let you go to the party whether you cleaned or not ?”  He responded , “Well , yes .”  You gotta give him points for honesty .  

So , today i told all four kiddos to clean their rooms because they are …ugh.  It’s amazing what one can pile up in a closet and under  the bed, they begged me to call the washington d.c. airbnb cleaning company but I really want them to learn to be responsible an clean. 

A short  while into cleaning , the 9 year old runs out with some of wet paper.  Apparently, they had a plastic box of water by their bed .  The 10 year old denied it was his …as did the 9 year old .  Yet , it’s their room .  “You aren’t telling me it’s a pee bucket that somehow removes all the pee and leaves clean water , are you ?”  They say no. So I press on , telling them that one of them is responsible for the container of water.  I swear, it reminds me of the comic strip , “Family Circus”.  Who did this ?  Ida Know.

Turns out it was the 10 year old who had a Lego “that floats.”

As for the  8 and  12 year old’s room , I had the Swiss Alps of clothing piled in their closet.  I directed them to fold  the clothes and make a pile of what no longer fit.  They wanted to sell things at a garage sale, but I’m not about to sit out front to monitor things just to make them a few dollars . I said we would donate the clothing unless one of them wanted what another didn’t .  Fights galore ensued . So I had to clarify that if two or three boys wanted an item of clothing , we’d flip a coin . 

Now , they’re dragging a box of books into the living room . It looks like Filene’s Bargain Basement.

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…and where in the world did he hear that phrase?
I move on. “No, who?”
“Katie Perry,” He says.
“Oh,” I say, “You like Katie Perry?”
“Who doesn’t?” he says.

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I then ran to the mall to pick up a birthday present for someone in the 10 year old’s class. Birthday at the arcade tomorrow. The 10 year old MAY be going but the jury is still out as it all depends on how clean he can get his room to be. And here I am, a short while later with all three kids at the school, waiting to hear the 12 year old sing with the chorus. First, we have to sit through a children’s string orchestra which sounds remarkably like a hundred cats in a blender.

Sex magnet? Me? Sure, why not!

I wish I had a clapboard. Take 49. This is my somewhat feeble attempt to create a blog about my foster kids. I have four. Yes…FOUR. Sorry, didn’t mean to shout. With four, you tend to go deaf. I have not gone insane…yet…though at times, I consent I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. On these pages, I hope to document my daily trials, tribulations, foibles, and follies and hope YOU find something herein to tickle your funny bone or give you the “warm and fuzzies.”

I’m not sure of the sense in entering parenthood in my 50’s. All I know is that my mother is probably laughing her head off about it.

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