I’m learning that punishment is a tricky thing. Last night, I made Salisbury steaks and fries for the kids, something I loved as a child. One of the four wanted to put barbecue sauce on it (“I hate gravy!”), one wanted to make a sandwich with Swiss cheese. One can always be counted on to eat without complaints. The fourth? “I don’t like this!” I told him it was like a hamburger patty. “But it’s softer! I don’t like it!” But it’s like a hamburger with gravy. “I don’t like the gravy.” He refused to eat it, so I told him that he had his fries and I wasn’t making anything else.

This morning, I found a half-eaten apple in the boys’ bathroom garbage can, AFTER I emptied the can around bedtime. It was pointed out to me by the oldest, which left three culprits (one very likely). Despite threatening no tv, no remaining birthday cake, no fruit until the culprit came forward, all three were steadfast in their denials. I called them out one by one, saying, “This is your only opportunity to tell the truth.” Still no confession. Hmm…this is why I was an attorney and not a detective, I guess. Ultimately, I called the 9yo out, my usual culprit, and told him I knew he had done it. I’ve pulled this before with him and, despite denial after denial, I’ve had him capitulate. He finally confessed this morning, tearfully saying that “I hate myself for lying and almost getting everyone else in trouble!” Why did he take the apple after we all went to bed? He was hungry because he didn’t eat his Salisbury steak.
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So now what? Do I punish for the lying, despite the underlying reason? Somewhere someone is humming the theme song for “Les Miserables”.