We’ve done respites for multiple kids before, but nothing prepared me/us for this one.
Two brothers, one almost 3 months old, the other almost 24 months old. Now that I can look at in retrospect (I dropped them off with their regular foster parent about an hour ago, and have had a glass of wine to think it over), for ME the biggest problem was a lack of language skills. I expected that with the younger one; I mean, babies are loud, and demanding, and you just can’t have a decent conversation with them. And he’s just starting the teething stage!!!
The older one was almost as bad. He understands a lot of words, but doesn’t have much vocalization ability yet. He showed enough to indicate that he understands what’s going on and what’s expected of him, behavior-wise. It eventually degenerated into a kind of power struggle, though. Older kid does NOT like naps, bedtime, or the crib. He understands, though he still doesn’t understand the difference between ‘inside voice’ and ‘outside voice’. We eventually came to an agreement: if he doesn’t follow the rules, he goes to the crib. He didn’t like following the rules, and spent a lot of time crying and yelling, until he finally worked himself into the calm and/or sleeping state I was trying to get him to. And, believe it or not, he hates taking a bath even more than that! First respite kid I’ve had that didn’t like to spend some time in the warm water with his or her tub toys.
We would have survived just fine, no special commentary needed, if we had had just one or the other. We can deal with that, even with hubby’s work and theater schedules. One of THEM and an older kid would be no problem, because you can reinforce the independence of the older kid, and the altruism, and the “we take care of our own” ethos so endemic and prevalent in our society.
Both of them together at the same time? When hubby is slammed with closing weekend of his current play? And time set aside for set break-down, cast photos, and get-togethers to decompress a bit?
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We have proven to ourselves that we CAN do this. Now the question arises of whether we would really want to do this.
More later. The wine is kicking in, and I REALLY, REALLY need the sleep. So does hubby, so don’t go pestering him quite so soon! He just finished a triumphal engagement in ‘La Cage’. Don’t you dare bring him down!!!
