Seeking the Rainbow

I was going to wait until tomorrow to write another post, but I find I have some extra time on my hands tonight, so here goes.

We sign on Thursday, we get to take possession on Friday.  Now comes the unenviable task of cleaning up after ourselves from our stay with our hosts.  Laundry is almost done, but I can’t do any real shopping until we’re at least partially settled and I have access to my flatware, cutlery, dishes and pots and pans.  Oh, and an empty refridgerator/freezer that I can put things in.

Work has been a bit hectic, because they’ve been dealing with Tropical Storm Fay.

Our lives have been hectic because we’re trying to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s for closing.  I’m coming down with a nasty cold (I can barely breathe through my nose unless I take a Benadryl or something).  We’re trying to coordinate being at the signing, and figuring out what we’re going to do for Friday, AND coordinating the move of our furniture from storage to our new house.  Especially the grand piano!  I’m still in almost constant pain from the accident (see an earlier post), but am holding off on physical therapy until after the move and I can find a decent doctor over there.

On top of everything else, my mother has been to the emergency room three times in the last two weeks, and I’m stuck here feeling helpless.  I guess it beats being there and feeling helpless, but not by much.  At least there I’d have the information first-hand instead of waiting for sis to let me know what’s going on.

I’m angsting big time right now, and trying to hold it together until we get through this weekend.  Once I do that, I think I’ll just have a nice, relaxing nervous breakdown in our new house.  At least then I’ll have my own bed to curl up in, and my piano to pound out some frustrations.  After a day or two of that luxury, I’ll have to start planning the house warming party.  Everyone is already asking when it’s going to be.

[sigh]

This is actually Jeffrey writing… it’s been a difficult month and a half, and staying at a friend’s home and dogsitting on your birthday on the hottest day so far with no breeze is no way to celebrate turning 47.  Things could be worse–I could be 50.  But thanks to my man, we made the most of it by running out shortly to a local restaurant and coming back to watch “Pride & Prejudice”.  Turning a year older may be just another day to some; to me, it’s just another special day with Michael.

I’ve tried not to bring any politics into this blog, aside from highly recommending my cyber-friend Steve Benen at The Carpetbagger Report.  Some people are social conservatives, and I will respect that.  That fact that they are willing to vote against their own self-interest because of that baffles me.  Gay marriage or abortion will not affect them in the least, unless they choose to have one.  A record deficit, recession, an illegal war, our loss of standing in the world, all of them will affect them directly or indirectly, but none of the latter issues mean anywhere near as much.  I married Jeffrey more than four years ago.  We’ve been together almost 17 years.  The world hasn’t ended; the sky hasn’t fallen; and civilization did not collapse.  Get over it already! 

Today I ran across one more disturbing video about McCain, and I can’t remain silent anymore.

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Just a quick post. We heard from the mortgage broker just now. Financing is in place, we’re good to go. Closing is currently set for 8/25/08, though we might push that up to the 19th if we can get all of the paperwork done. The inspection is this coming Tuesday, but we don’t foresee any issues with that.

That’s one big worry off of my chest.

I think I’ll go throw up now.

I’m not normally an emotional person, but my emotions seem to be catching up with me and beating me over the head lately.

I’m remembering the death of my newphew about 20 years ago, who died at 10 days old. I didn’t even cry until the funeral was almost over, and the rest of my family had already lost it. I had to be there for them, and not deal with my own selfish emotional needs.

I’m remembering the death of my dear friend Thom in Salt Lake City, who died from AIDS not too long after I moved to Seattle the first time, and all the other friends I have lost to that dreaded disease over the years.

I remember the death of my step-grandfather, who was a shit-heel of a human being, and tried to rape my mother when she was a teenager. I remember the death of my aunt Billie, which nobody in the extended family bothered to tell us about until after the funeral. I remember my grandmother’s death, and the fact that mom decided to give the funeral a miss since her family treater her like crap. I’m remembering the death of Jeffrey’s aunt, whom I had never even met, yet I was drafted to be a pall-bearer because most of his family couldn’t be bothered to attend the funeral.

I remember the good times, too. The joyous weddings, the births, the other events and rites of passage that we celebrate in life. The fun vacations. The holiday celebrations.

Eventually, it will all even out. Just like the universe, the good and the bad will cancel each other, and a stable equilabrium will be reached.

I just hope it happens soon.

Thanks to you who have emailed me about the previous post. You should already have replies and my heart-felt gratitude.

There was a group of us who used to hang out at Changes. We considered ourselves the gay male equivalent of the Golden Girls. Jeffrey was Sophia (‘picture it, Sicily, 1933’…), Carl was Blanche (‘who’s that cute guy, and what can I do to get him into my bed’), John was Violet, Rose’s dumber sister (you really don’t want to know), and I was Dorothy, the voice of reason in a world of insanity.

Yesterday, I almost lost it completely and became Dorothy’s evil twin. For those of you who don’t know me, I tend to be a very private person. I don’t share much of myself unless I really know you and trust you. Heck, Jeffrey and I have been together almost 17 years, and there are still things about me that he doesn’t know.

When something happens, I tend to bottle it up and process it later. This blog is one attempt to overcome some of that.

I don’t know why, exactly, but yesterday I reached the breaking point.
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Gawds, more drama.  We went to the storage place to try and find our passports (no luck, BTW), but managed to find some other things we needed, and to clear a path into the netherlands of that storage purgatory.  After that, we ran over to Bremerton to see the new house again, and we had a chance to visit with our soon-to-be new neighbors.  One couple is both lawyers, he in private practice, she with the county.  Now, I pride myself on being able to hold my own in almost any conversation, but when you get into the esoterics of law or medicine, I can usually follow the conversation, but I can’t contribute anything.  That’s not usually a problem for me, because I tend to like to sit back and observe, but when I’m expected to contribute!?!  Give me a break!

We decided to have lunch in our soon-to-be new hometown, but by the time we finished it was already after 1 PM.  With no passports handy, and the f*cked border crossing system since Bush took office, we decided to give Vancouver a pass.  After all, we have been driving cross-country, working full time, spending evenings and weekends house hunting, and generally killing ourselves trying to get re-established.  We needed a break, so we decided to take one.

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Nothing big planned for today, except our usual Happy Hour visit to Changes, and maybe dinner afterward.  Tomorrow is another story.

Tomorrow morning we’re heading down to the storage place to try and find our passports.  Vancouver Pride is this weekend, and we have been invited by a friend to spend it with him.  Technically, we don’t need our passports (yet), but they certainly make the border crossing easier.  So, sometime tomorrow afternoon we’ll be in Vancouver, BC, and ready to party for the weekend, stick around for the parade Sunday, and then head back.  I’ll post the details (at least those permissible for a family audience) sometime Sunday.  I just hope the weather cooperates.

As for the house situation, one minor setback.  Our realtor used the same template for the new offer as the old one, so the closing date was way too soon for the sellers.  We agreed to push it back to 9/3/08.  The inspection was also pushed back a week to 8/12/08.  We’re still not expecting anything to derail the deal.  We can almost look at the closing and moving in as a joint birthday gift for both Jeffrey and myself, since that date is about half-way between his birthday in August and mine in September.  Funny how things work our sometimes.

Here is a web page I knocked together with some pictures Jeffrey took of the house we’re buying.

New House

What a difference a day can make. 

This morning, I woke up, stumbled my way to the coffee pot, and Jeffrey stops me and says he’s had a change of heart on the Tacoma house after reading the crime statistics.  What a thing to drop on a person who hasn’t had their morning coffee yet.  He gives me time to have my coffee and read most of the morning paper.  The crime rate in Tacoma is three times the national average, he says.  Bremerton’s is less than the average (must be all those military and ex-milatry people around).  Taxes are less in Kitsap County than in Pierce County.  Insurance is less, too.

So we were back to our original choice between the two Bremerton houses I mentioned here and here.  We decided to counter the original counter-offer on the house we initally chose, and delete the additional items, but lower our original offer by the amount he tried to bump it up.  We were hoping to get some leeway, because while the house was excellent, we would need to redo all of the landscaping, and that isn’t cheap.  He came back with a counter-counter offer dropping his asking price by less than $1,000.  We were rather insulted, to say the least.  The house is gorgeous, but it’s not on the best street and some of the neighboring properties leave a lot to be desired, plus there was the landscaping issue.  The house was over-priced for its location, which is why we asked for the extra items in exchange for his full asking price in the first place.  Too bad, so sad.  We crossed him off the list and were left with one house. 

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Today we looked at 12 or so houses, and think we found the one.  It was actually the last one on our list to look at, and we almost gave it a miss because it was slightly outside the geographical area Jeffrey wanted to stay in.  Four bedroom/three bath, large lot with excellent landscaping, first and second floors either fully modernized or in excellent shape, partially finished basement, plenty of off-street parking, and it would be a good house for entertaining.

Then we went and looked at the remaining house in Bremerton that we really liked.  They’re very close in what we want in a house, but the Tacoma house won out.  We’re having our realtor get more info on taxes, how long it’s been on the market, price reductions, etc. so that we can make an informed offer.  We’re already pre-approved for the mortgage, but we don’t want to offer more than we should, considering the current economy and what’s going on in the mortgage and banking industry.  The house is vacant, so once we make that decision we can push for a quick closing and finally get into our own place again.  I miss my books, my piano, and everything else in storage.  Most of all, I miss our California king-sized bed.

Not much to add today, but it’s been a few days since I posted anything.  We let the first offer expire, for reasons mentioned before.  WIth the other house we were looking at, I guess they got some very positive feedback and the sellers are trying very hard to get us to buy, especially one of the neighbors.  She’s a self-proclaimed “fag hag” (gawds, I hate that term), and is really wanting to have some new male gay friends.  We’re biding our time, and are going to spend tomorrow looking in “Old Tacoma”.  Jeffrey has found some very nice looking houses there, and we’re taking our realtor around to show us all of them.

Frankly, as it stands, I’m leaning more towards Bremerton than Tacoma, but Jeffrey’s the one who has to deal with the commute.  I have to defer to his preference, at least in this regard.

Not much else to add, at this point.  Jeffrey is driving an hour each way to get to work, I’m working from home (in our generous friends’ home) and trying to keep us in clean laundry, good dinners, and healthy pets (3 dogs and a cat).

Gawds, I am so ready for a vacation away from all of this, and I’m sure Jeffrey is too.  Give me a cruise ship (with a luxury suite, by preference), no cooking or cleaning, and exotic ports of call.  I’m reminded of the old TV commercial:  “Calgon, take me away”.  I guess now it’s “Carnival (or Holland America), take me away!”

Well, we got a counter offer on our first offer.  As background, the house is in a good neighborhood, but not on a good street.  The seller had vacated the house but left some furniture there to help with the “showing” of it, I guess.  If you regularly watch HGTV or similar programs, you know what I’m talking about.  The house has been on the market over a year.  We love the house itself, but not so much the location.  We offered his asking price if he’d leave a few pieces of furniture behind.  Now be mindful, we didn’t NEED these items, but we liked the style and they fit in with the way the house had been re-done.  His counter offer was to let us have the 5 items we asked for, but pay an additional $15K.  No way in hell.  We could buy them brand new at less than half the price.  I was all for countering with a reduced offer without the furniture, but Jeffrey is leaning toward letting it expire and offering on the other house.  After work, he went back today to look at both houses and take pictures.  I’m really torn.  I like the house we made an offer on better, but I like the street and lot of the other house just as much.  It’s a real pity they can’t be transplanted.

We’re still discussing what we want to do.  One major factor is that the not-so-nice house with the great yard and street location has oil heating.  And it’s an OLD oil furnace.  The family living there reports that their heating bill comes to about $2K a year.  If we opt for this one, the first thing we have to do is convert it to natural gas.  Although, thanks to Bush and the current economy, that may not make much of a difference in a few years.

This weekend, we spent most of our time across the water on the Kitsap Peninsula (home of one of the only temperate rain forests in the world), and most of that time was in Bremerton.  They had their Gay Pride fest yesterday.  It was a rather small venue compared to what I’m used to, but apparently they had a very good turnout, with people drifting in and out all day, including us.  We drove around the area looking at neighborhoods and houses on the market.  We did most of this on our own because our realtor was manning a booth at the event.  I was glad to see that SLDN was represented.  Apparently, there is a vibrant gay community on the peninsula, and there are a lot of military people who are part of it.  Quietly, of course. 

Today, we had our realtor available and we looked at 10 or 12 houses in a couple of neighborhoods we liked, and found two houses we both felt would suit us nicely.  One edged out the other slightly, and we put in an offer on it.  Beautifully modernized 1920s house, but a very small lot and the landscaping needs some work.  The other house is almost the opposite in a slightly better part of the neighborhood, a wonderfully landscaped large lot, but the house needs a bit of work to get it up to where it meets our needs.  We put in a bid on the house that’s already modernized but needs some yard work, including privacy fencing.  I’ll have more follow-up on this as it progresses.

I suppose I should explain that we’re looking in that area due to our expectation on where Jeffrey will finally end up working, and the economics of the situation.  Transportation will not be that much of a factor.  If he winds up in Seattle, he will take the passenger ferry across the Sound and then a bus or walk.  If he winds up in Tacoma or Olympia, that’s a 30 to 45 minute drive south.  My biggest consideration is access to broadband, since I’m working from home for the foreseeable future.  The neighborhood the two houses we’re interested in is currently undergoing a sort of urban renewal, which we don’t mind being a part of.

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I’m going to have to start titling my posts differently. I’m starting to lose track of the days.

One of the great things about the northwest is the lack of light pollution. I can see the stars at night, again. In south Florida, the only places you could really see the stars were out in the Everglades, or a couple of miles off-shore in the ocean. We’ve had great weather ever since the day we arrived, and clear skies at night. I’m reacquainting myself with the constellations.

I’ve also rediscovered KIXI, a local AM station that plays 40s and 50s music, and the old serial radio shows (like The Shadow) at night. They have on-line streaming, so I used to listen to them occasionally back in Florida, but it’s nice to be able to listen to them live again.

Our agenda for tomorrow is Jeffrey and I do our work, then happy hour at our favorite hangout (Changes), dinner at Pasta Bella, possibly the best Italian restaurant in the nation, and then spending the weekend looking at more houses over in Bremerton.   About Pasta Bella, we recommended it to our friend Chris from the Flamingo Freedom Band, and he sent us a text message after he visited it saying “Thanks for sending me to Pasta Bella”.    That’s high praise, indeed.

Bill and Esther seem to enjoy my cooking. They have “loved” everything I’ve made since we arrived. I know how people will sometimes tell little white lies to spare one’s feelings, so I take it with a tiny grain of salt. It’s nice hearing, anyway. I’m just waiting until I have a chance to make my nationally famous enchiladas. I haven’t had a person yet who has tried them and not swooned in near ecstasy.

I think that’s enough for now. I may not post again until Sunday, so enjoy your weekend.