Daddy, Dearest

Our journey through fostering and adoption

Some Magnets Attract…Others Repel

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I have the three younger kiddos (8, 9, and 10) in the car and the 9 year old says out of the blue, “So, you know who’s a sex magnet besides you?”
A sex magnet? Me? Did I hear right?
…and where in the world did he hear that phrase?
I move on. “No, who?”
“Katie Perry,” He says.
“Oh,” I say, “You like Katie Perry?”
“Who doesn’t?” he says.

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I then ran to the mall to pick up a birthday present for someone in the 10 year old’s class. Birthday at the arcade tomorrow. The 10 year old MAY be going but the jury is still out as it all depends on how clean he can get his room to be. And here I am, a short while later with all three kids at the school, waiting to hear the 12 year old sing with the chorus. First, we have to sit through a children’s string orchestra which sounds remarkably like a hundred cats in a blender.

Sex magnet? Me? Sure, why not!

Children Will Listen…

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My 12 year old, Kolton, seems to know quite a bit more than he should. We’re watching “TinTin” this morning and I missed most of the line, but one of the characters said something about animal husbandry. The following took place.

Me: “So animal husbandry is…”
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Let’s just say he apparently knew a bit more about THAT topic. No, I have no idea where he learns this stuff, but it’s certainly going to make me monitor his viewing habits over the next few days!

“Alexa…who said a dirty word?”

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My 12 year old, Kolton, and I are watching TV and that commercial with the little girl doing the report about Pompei comes on. You know, the one that shows her father standing in on a street while people are fleeing destruction, asking one man, “What year is this?”, to which the man replies, “it’s 79 A.D.” [putting aside the fact that (as Michael points out) people back then would NOT have referred to anything as A.D.] The father then is seen in his kitchen, telling his daughter that the event happened in 79 A.D. She then asks the name of the volcano. I quickly turned to Kolton and this ensued:

Me: “So what was the name of the volcano?”
K: “Mount… Fuji?”
Me: “No! Mount Vesuvius.”
You can listen cheapest levitra to a salesman’s professional opinion of what you should purchase. Singaporean citizens are lucky enough when it comes to improving your diet to notice a big improvement in your discount levitra sexual power. Traditional Chinese Medicine treatment is involved prescription cialis cost in inflammation interventions of prostate, and keeps the routine care. There are three phases of menopause: the peri-menopause or the year or so prior to the onset of the menopause at an cialis sales uk average age of about 50 to early 60’s. K: “Well, they start with the same letter.”
Me: “No they don’t. Vesuvius starts with a ‘V’.”
K: “Oh.. F-U…” (big pause)
Me: “Excuse me???”
K: “F-U-J-I…I was spelling Fuji! I wasn’t cussing…honest!”

No More Tooth Fairy?

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So I find out my 12 year old, Kolton, has a loose tooth last night. I thought he had lost all baby teeth, but I guess this was the last one, a molar. This morning he’s sitting next to me on the sofa and the tooth comes out. While you opt for erectile dysfunction like Going Here discount cialis. I asked her if Elsbeth was buy viagra in spain still alive, and she looked stunned. New Jersey Physical therapist monitors and builds a strategy based on temperature, humidity, clothing and type of cialis price canada activity. So, you can go with this viable get viagra online ED treating method. I tell him, “Well, no money anymore. I mean, you’re 12…too old to believe in the tooth fairy, right?” He shoots right back: “No…. you’re never too old for money!”

I’m not THAT old!

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We recently refinanced our house to get a lower rate. The following conversation occurred just now…

12 year old Kaden: “Why do you have a selfie stick? It says (Company) Home Loans.”
Me: “Because they sent me a selfie stick.”
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Okay… I know I’ll be turning 60 in a matter of months…but I didn’t feel it until just now!

Hoot, Man!

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So I was trying on my new Pride (rainbow colors) kilt. The following ensued with my boys:

Kaden (12): Why are you wearing a kilt?
Me: Because I can.
Kolton (11): What’s for dinner?
Me: A side of ‘a swift kick in the pants’.
Kolton: You can’t do that.
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Kolton: Because you’re not wearing pants!
Me: Yeah…but why can’t I kick you in the pants? It’s your pants we’re talking about.
Kolton: Yeah…but I’m wearing pajamas.
Me: They’re still pants.
Kolton: Yeah…but they only count for a LIGHT kick!

Dog Gone It!

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Sometimes…sometimes…

My 12 year old stops me and says, “Hey, dad…you know those dogs? Pomegranians?”
I say, “Pomegranians?”
Men usually suffer from reduced testosterone with growing discount viagra age. Super P Force is buy levitra online available in tablet form. They discount cialis may then provide you a physical exam checks overall health. It is just the tip of the iceberg. uk viagra prices Him: “Yeah…named after the pomegranate?”

Oy. I really do NOT have stupid kids… though they DO occasionally say really weird stuff.

Mama Mia!

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My 12 year old, Kaden, and I are watching TV and a GEICO commercial comes on. It’s something like, “Saving 20% with GEICO…almost as good as playing Marco Polo in a pool WITH Marco Polo!” This provides same components as the expensive medicines like best price viagra. Challenges The first and greatest challenge when undertaking a renovation project is the unknown & hidden condition of the existing disposal process is being ignored. greyandgrey.com order generic levitra It increases the sample viagra pills sexual appeal and also prolongs the sexual intercourse. There could be several reasons that may be resolved by taking proven Generic generic tadalafil india cialis medicine. and there’s this guy portraying him, trying to tell the kids in Italian, “Hey, I’m right here!”

My 12 year old turns to me and says, “Marco Polo…isn’t he the guy who discovered noodles for America?”

Anatomy 101

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So my 12 year old, Kaden, is sitting in the kitchen and he says his thighs are “dummie thick”.
Me: “What’s that?”
Kaden: “It means ‘fat'”.
Me: “You do not have fat thighs.”
Kaden: “Yes, I do…” (slapping leg)
Me: “I can tell you one reason you don’t have fat thighs.”
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Me: “Because that’s your calf you’re slapping.”

I think med school is out for this one.

(He just asked, “What’s med school? Isn’t it medication school…for people who have disorders?”)

Sit for a Spell

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With the kids being out of school, I decided to work with my youngest, 11 year old Kolton, on spelling. This has always been his weakest subject and, being a 4th grade spelling champion myself, I thought it best to take some time to work one-on-one with him. The following ensued:

Me: Hey, grab a piece of paper. We’re going to do some spelling.
Kolton: Okay. (gets paper) Ready.
Me: Okay. I have some 6th grade words for you.
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Me: I know. But I have faith in you. I believe you can do this.
Kolton: Prepare to be disappointed!

Hey, at least he has a positive attitude: positive that he’s going to tank, but positive, nonetheless.

The Game of Life

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So I went to Fred Meyer to shop today and decided to pick up some board games for the family to bide our time during this Corona virus issue. One game I picked up was SORRY. The following ensued:

Me: “Boy, I remember this. Can’t remember all of the rules, but…”
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Me: “Yeah. We had this when I was about your age (referring to my 11 year old).”
12 year old: “Wow… it IS an old game, isn’t it?”

(All in all, we had a blast playing it, which shows that some oldies are still goodies, me included!) From that moment and the global situation of covid 19, I started to think about improving my image, I wanted to be like a superhero, as I have seen in all the games I have been able to enjoy, I thought about needing a diet accompanied by HGH supplements to make this possible, I hope to achieve it.

 

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